To Mom, For Mother’s Day And Your Birthday

Abraham Lincoln once said that everything he was he owed to his angel mother. Right on, Abe. I couldn’t agree more.

For Mother’s Day this year I got perhaps the best gift I could have gotten. I got to spend the weekend with my mom. In fact, I got to spend the weekend with her entire family. All seven kids (only one couldn’t make it), seven grandkids, three great-grandkids (so far) and a whole slew of spouses and significant others. I love my mom’s family. I always have. I don’t know if it’s because I love her so much or if they’re just so darn loveable by nature. Probably a combination of the two. But when I’m with them, I’m happy. Really happy. And I feel like I’m home.

But most of all, I loved seeing Mom. I miss her. We’ve always been close. I’m not sure why. But growing up, she’s the person I most wanted to tell my secrets to. And she was always there to listen.

Since I’ve been married our bond has been stretched a bit. Alexander is now the person I most want to tell my secrets to. But I will always have a need and a special place in my heart for my mom.

I can stoically talk to scores of people about my problems, but one phone call to my mom – her wordless empathy seeping through the phone line – and I’m crying like a child. She helps to balance me and remind me that it’s okay to show emotion. After all, she (who cries at tire commercials) is probably the strongest person I’ve ever met.

She teaches me to be patient. To be kind. To be forgiving. There have been things that have happened to her in her life that would break the mightiest of women. But she can honestly say that she holds no ill-will for her fellow men. I wish I could let go of things as easily as she can.

Once, I was trying to explain to her why I preferred not to spend time with a certain friend of hers. ‘Haven’t you ever just not really liked someone?’ I asked her, ‘Not that they’re a bad person or anything but you’d just prefer not to spend any time with them if you can help it?’ She was quiet for a moment – just a moment – and then said, with perfect honesty ‘No, Jess. I’ve never felt that way.’

And that is why during reunion last week when my aunt told me I reminded her so much of my mom I told her that was perhaps the greatest compliment I’d ever been given. And it explains why all of my in-laws love my mom (besides the fact that she sends them birthday cards – on time). My mother-in-law raves about my mom and all I can do is agree with her. And tell her that I hope to resemble Mom in the smallest degree one day.

I don’t know if my mom will even read this (she doesn’t get on the internet much). But I wanted to say it anyway. It’s one of those things that becomes stronger and more real by saying it out loud. Or typing it for all blogdome to read, in this case.

So Mom, if you do read this: Thank you. Thank you for being the woman you are. Thank you for never expecting (or wanting) me to be anything but the woman I’m becoming. Thank you for the sleepless nights and the tear-stained cheeks. Thank you for the hours of (unmedicated) labor and for the hours upon hours of phone minutes. Thank you for supporting me and letting me fly the nest. Thank you for loving Alexander like your own son. Thank you for knowing what I need to hear and knowing when I just want to be listened to. Thank you for making sacrifices for me and for your courage. Thank you for being my best friend. And thank you for understanding when I found a new one. Thank you for always being there for me – even since the miles have separated us. I don’t know what else to say even though this doesn’t seem like nearly enough. I guess sometimes words just don’t do a thing justice.

So, Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday. I love you, my angel mother. Everything I am I owe to you. Thank you. A hundred times thank you.

Your Jess