What’s In A Name?

Just an incredibly hard decision apparently.

We’re about at the end of our ropes trying to come up with a name for our unborn (we’re assuming) son. We’ve had two ultrasounds so far and both times the technician identified “parts” that made her think it’s a boy. However, neither sonogram gave me the clear, there-it-is-type image that I need to feel 100% sure. Alexander is sure. I’m pretty sure, but I just need more closure. Therefore I say we’re assuming. The royal “we.”

And so we’re tackling, once again, the challenge of naming a whole person. Our problem is this: With Elijah, we were sure what we were going to name him before he was even conceived. With Dylan we ran into a bit of a snag. We had a girl’s name picked out but not a boy’s. We eventually came up with four contenders and sent them out for a family & friends vote. (A four way tie, incidentally, proving that we come by our indecisiveness genetically). We decided on Dylan in the delivery room, after he was born, having ruled out the other three choices for various reasons.

With Lij, there was only one possible name. And with Dylan, there was only one possibility left. Now enter the third pregnancy. We still have a sweet little girl’s name pick out. In fact, we’ve had so long to think about it that we have two. But we have no boy’s names. After all, we exhausted the search during Dylan’s gestation. And if there was only one possibility left for his name, doesn’t that leave none for this baby?

Which is why I don’t use the phrase “end of our ropes” lightly. We have a very worn-out baby name book with almost ever boy name crossed out as unsuitable. Alexander has a few names he likes. I have a few I like. The problem is neither of us love any of the names. And I really don’t want either of us to have to “give in” to the name we bestow on our child. I mean, who wants to think compromise whenever they look at their kid?

One of our main problems is that I come from a family with no problem shortening names and Alexander’s family is dead-set opposed to it. One of my top choices has a nickname that Alexander dislikes. It also has an alternate nickname that both he and I are okay with. But Alexander feels that it’s inevitable that our child would get saddled with the other nickname. He uses himself as an example: Always called Alex when he really wanted to be called Alexander. Years of trauma and angst. And so, on this point, there seems to be no talking to the boy!

So my question (or perhaps, questions): Would you rule out naming your child something because of a potential nickname (not inappropriate, just one you’re not crazy about)? Do you think if we, as his parents, gave him a nickname that it would be likely to trump what others might shorten his name to (after all, we’re not saying you have to call him Alexander, we’re just saying if you must shorten, use Alex instead of Lex or Zander)? And finally, although I’ve probably heard them all (and no offense, but probably have a definite opinion about them), feel free to leave your name suggestions should we in fact be having our third man-child.